Satirical Spanish Sports Front Page

Prompt

A satirical Spanish sports newspaper front page designed like a tabloid cover, full-frame and perfectly frontal, on slightly aged off-white newsprint with subtle paper texture, faint stains, and narrow black border lines. The masthead is a huge red SPORT logo across the top on a bright yellow banner. In the upper right, include 1 small interview promo box with a headshot of a footballer and the text block in Spanish: “ENTREVISTA CUBARSÍ ‘ESTOY PARA COSAS GRANDES’”. Under the masthead, add a yellow strip with bold black text “EXCLUSIVA MUNDIAL” and a small red lightning bolt. The main headline dominates the page in gigantic black condensed uppercase letters over 2 lines: “LAMILE FICHA POR LA PEÑA DEL BINGO”. Beneath it, add the subheadline in italic black Spanish text: “El crack pide dorsal el 10 y bocadillo de calamares en el contrato”. The main photo occupies the left-center and lower-middle of the page: a young footballer seen mostly from the back wearing a Barcelona home jersey in blue and garnet stripes, with the name “LAMILE” and the number “10” in large yellow lettering, standing in a celebratory stadium scene with confetti, bright lights, blurred fans, and people around him. He is holding or presenting a large bingo card board with the word “BINGO” at the top and “BINGO!” at the bottom. On the right side, create a vertical sidebar with 4 stacked content blocks: first, a photo of a calamari sandwich on a plate with the caption “El motivo del fichaje”; second, a red info box listing 3 humorous transfer facts in yellow and white text, exactly “EDAD: muy joven”, “FICHAJE: 4 cartones”, and “CLÁUSULA: una partida de parchís”; third, a quotes column with 3 stacked mini-items, each with a small portrait and Spanish caption: “XAVI: ‘No me lo esperaba, pero respeto’”, “LAPORTA: ‘Renegociaremos en el próximo bingo’”, and “EL VESTUARIO: Le preparan línea y bingo de bienvenida”; fourth, a small motorsport teaser at the bottom with a driver image and the text “FÓRMULA 1 ALONSO SUEÑA CON EL PODIO EN YEDA”. Along the bottom strip, include 3 small teaser panels: 1 woman footballer holding a trophy with the text “CHAMPIONS FEMENINA LA REINA AITANA QUIERE OTRA CORONA”, 1 basketball panel with two Barça players and the text “BÁSQUET EL BARÇA, A UN PAS DE LA FINAL FOUR”, and the Formula 1 teaser panel already integrated at the right edge. Add tiny newspaper metadata be...