Satirical 4-Panel Product Ads

Prompt

{   "type": "4-panel satirical product advertisement grid",   "layout": {     "grid": "2x2",     "panels": [       {         "position": "top-left",         "product_name": "{argument name=\"top left product name\" default=\"座る石\"}",         "visual": "man in white shirt and dark pants sitting on a large round stone in a park",         "catchphrase": "いつでも、どこでも、落ち着ける。",         "sales_badge": "累計販売数 12,000個 突破!",         "vertical_text": "公園のベンチが埋まっていた日に。",         "features_count": 3,         "features_labels": [           "重さ約8kgで安定感抜群",           "底面フェルト加工で傷つけにくい",           "付属の専用ベルトで持ち運び簡単"         ],         "extra_visual": "small inset image of the stone with a leather carrying strap",         "specs": [           "耐荷重 150kg",           "安心の日本製"         ]       },       {         "position": "top-right",         "product_name": "{argument name=\"top right product name\" default=\"磨きたくない人の歯ブラシ\"}",         "visual": "sleek light blue toothbrush angled diagonally on a dark blue background",         "toothbrush_text": "I don't want to brush my yeeth.",         "catchphrase": "持っているだけで安心感",         "vertical_text": "歯を磨く代わりに、これを持つ。",         "sales_badge": "シリーズ累計販売数 85,000本 突破!",         "features_count": 3,         "features_labels": [           "気持ちを落ち着けるお守り代わりに",           "会議や商談前のエチケットに",           "磨かない選択を、もっと自由に。"         ],         "bottom_banner": "歯磨きストレスから、あなたを解放する。"       },       {         "position": "bottom-left",         "product_name": "{argument name=\"bottom left product name\" default=\"雲の貯金箱\"}",         "visual": "hand inserting a coin into a fluffy white cloud-shaped piggy bank",         "catchphrase": "空気より軽い、安心感。",         "sales_badge": "累計販売数 23,567個 突破!",         "features_count": 3,         "features_labels": [           "ふわふわの触り心地",           "割れないから安心",           "インテリアに馴染むデザイン"         ],         "color_variants_count": 3,         "color_variants_labels": [           "blue",           "pink",           "white"         ],         "price": "¥2,980 (税込)",         "bottom_text": "今日から、空に向かってコツコツ貯めよう。"       },       {         "position": "bottom-right",         "product_name": "{argument name=\"bottom right product name\" default=\"叱ってくれる石\"}",         "visual": "round stone on a wooden desk with a pen, text written on the stone",         "stone_text": "{argument name=\"scolding phrase\" default=\"いいかげんやれ\"}",         "catch...